Mothering: It Takes A Village
Our post today comes from Mother, Educator, and Community Organizer Nikki Brooker.
Have you ever heard the old saying “It takes a village?”
The origin of this saying is unknown, but it is believed to come from the African culture hundreds of years ago. African villages would all chip in to take care of and raise children. Multiple mothers could feed one child from their breast and this was considered normal. Moms banded together to create an environment of love, acceptance and care. Moms of many generations were part of the village and the more experienced moms would guide the younger moms in their motherhood journey.
From the beginning of time, motherhood has been the most challenging job to be created. As a mom, you are expected to grow a child in your body, birth that child, and then instinctively have the ability to care for, nurture, and raise that child with no manual, no “how-to” book and often no village to show you the way. In the U.S. we do a terrible job of supporting our moms. In Europe and Asia, moms are given a PAID year off of their jobs, a doula visits them at home and they are often given other amenities. In the U.S., moms are given ONE 6-week postpartum visit and from there, they are expected to figure it out.
Clearly, I am not suggesting we have communal living with multiple moms breastfeeding each other’s babies but what if we ensured that every mom had the peer-to-peer support that changed how they approached motherhood? As human beings, we learn from others and their experiences and in motherhood, that can be extremely beneficial.
Peer-to-peer support is extremely productive and successful, as we have seen in the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. When you feel that you are not alone and that you aren’t “failing,” you have connections with others who feel your pain and are experiencing similar struggles, it creates a camaraderie that improves the mental health of everyone involved. Peer-to-peer supporters feel valued and validated while supportees feel less alone and isolated in their feelings. Motherhood should never be attempted on an island. It takes a village and we need to create those villages for our moms and give them the support they deserve. You created human life and therefore deserve the love and support of other badass moms!
Finding your village can be challenging when you don’t know where to look. Great places are (unfortunately) social media. Look for groups in your community. Try searches like Moms of Highlands Ranch, or Moms of Boulder. Meet-up is another great way to find mom friends. There is another app called Peanut that is great for moms to find other moms in their area as well. There are options out there, you just have to take the first step to find your village.
YANAM2M is a nonprofit in Highlands Ranch that was created out of two tragedies in our community. We are here to create a safe space for all moms where every moms feels safe, valued and accepted. We offer all moms a support person (another mom who can say, I’ve been there). We are also working on a new hospital program where EVERY mom who gives birth will be given a village. Reach out to Nikki for more information
Never forget YOU ARE A BADASS! And you are not alone.
Nikki Brooker
CEO and Founder YANAM2M
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